dazzledustbaby

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 02:49:41 GMT

Hmmm it's been such a funny week - my first week knowing that me and steve are over completely and its was so wierd i was totally fine. I was just getting on with things (even tho the sleepless nights were back)and just appreciating my friends, i hadnt had time to think about things. And then today something totally set me back - hes met a new girl after a week. So now obviously im just all confused and dizzy again its just like hes thought yeah lets see how i can show nic how much she doesnt mean to me. Flipping bebo has a lot to answer for i would have been much happier wandering around in ignorance instead of finding out!! But as much as i complained about my friends last time they completely rallied round me and you begin to realise how important they are to you. Even at the time when i felt so lonely a couple days ago i always know they're there for me no matter what just as I am for them. I think this is what has made the whole thing so muchh easier. I've had so much time for me to think about things and I have felt myself change...Watching the final episode of sex and the city got me all weepy tonight but it made me realise that yeah right now i dont have stephen - so what i have the best friends and family a girl could hope for and in the end they are always going to be the ones who will be there no matter how messy things get and i suppose i just forgot this a long time ago. SO basically what im trying to say is although my life isnt perfect and it isnt where i planned to be im happy in the immortal words of PCD (and no im not a pussycat dolls fan lol) 'I DONT NEED A MAN TO MAKE IT HAPPEN I GET OFF BEING FREE!! lol take care nic xx

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 21:34:35 GMT

I have completely neglected this over the last couple weeks - maybe its because things were going good. Its funny how quickly things just fall apart even when you try so hard to keep things together. Me and Stephen have split up completely no going back. Again it wasnt my decision but I was so proud of how I handled myself. I didn't cry, beg or scream. He completely messed me around and I went against everything my friends and family advised me because I trusted him but its all came back to kick me in the ass! And now a couple days on I need my friends but they're so busy with their boyfriends and uni that I've just sat around the house walking my little doggy feeling awful. Ive got a job interview on Thursday so fingers crossed but I just need some friendly advice and chat lol as much as i love my friends they've just been a bit crap boo! xx

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 17:42:47 GMT

Heyloo all you sexy brutes!! Well first me n steve are together again lol!! So im so happy and now have nothing to complain about woop! So i had a heavy night last night in glasgow so im suffering today!! have just lay about in bed watching crappy tv! Watched american idol for the first time its so much more dramatic than the UK one lol! Now watching the big fat quiz of the year 06 on you tube. I actually love russel brand and noel fielding. Me n steve are going to see russel at the carling academy in march i actually cant wait!! Also up and coming is regina spektor and babyshambles so its shaping up to be a good year already! Anyone who hasn't already watch the mighty boosh (you can watch whole eps on you tube) I love it so much but think you have to be a bit on the wierd side to appreciate it plus noel fielding is one of the sexualist men in the world (I love his glittery white cowboy boots)! So back to banter central tomorrow (aka work). Im so surprised about how much im liking this wee job but suppose its only to last till sept till i get to be a student again swit swoo!!

Nic x

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 20:08:05 GMT

Well - I started my new job woo!! Im actually really enjoying it so far! The people are really nice - and theres this girl ashleigh who actually is on the same wavelength as me - ITS A MIRACLE!! and i managed to sleep all night last night so life is good!!! Im meeting steve tomorrow night after work in glasgow eek! I want to try and sort things out so at least we can still talk to each other cos he was my best friends so i suppose we shall have to see how things go!

Was just in goosebump central watcin james morrison he has such a good voice it makes you go al shivery!!

I pretty much dont have much to say just things are good and please would people stop assuming i like the kooks they are absoloute pap! Thats all lol

NIc xx

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 02:24:58 GMT

As i said earlier i cant sleep again so i decided to put up some more pictures of me and my luvlies...enjoy

My two gorgeous best friends eli and lauren

Me and Steve when we went to see Kasabian

Me with my HUGE mouth with my friends Fi and andrew at a beach party

Me with my vintage chanel bag

I'll see what other pictures to dig up later on

Nic xx

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 01:31:37 GMT

Just had some yummy citron tart and cream feel guilty now lol but it was so good!! On Montag I'm starting a new job for the insurance department of the Royal Mail in Glasgow, so anyone needs cheap car insurance i can hook you up!! I'm quite looking forward to it have heard that theres a lot of banter which is always good.

Anyway today I found this song on itunes which ive been trying to find for ages (Standing in the way of control - Gossip) and it has actually made my day. Ive just been cutting some shapes to it all night!!!! How much do you love that feeling when you find just the right song at just the right the time and you just feel goooood... Gawd i have such an ecelctic music taste - just now im quite luving funk/electronic/house i just want a bass line i can shake it to...it makes me smile.

This is about the 4/5 night in a row i cant sleep. I keep feeling all jittery and nervey about something - think im still a bit shaken up by me n steve breaking up tho i have to say that i am feeling a bit different about things whats thats saying 'dont cry because its gone, smile because it happened' and for that year and half i was so unbelievably happy i mean he was my first love and im sad that it ended sooner than i wanted but i suppose things happen for a reason...

So, i submitted my application for uni last week eee!!! Ive already been at uni for a year doing nursing but couldnt cope with seeing ill people everyday. It really scared me as it was a HUGE wakeup call as to what can happen to people and in the end i thought it would just break me down. SO I've applied to do english literature and then hopefully go on and be an english teacher. In the end ive just decided to stop making plans for the future. For me its easier to ride the waves and see where you end up so if teaching is what im supposed to do it will happen...

One last thing Ive been thinking about a lot today, life is for living not for wasting, sitting around feeling sorry for myself...Although I feel shitty i have a great family and ab fab friends which I sometimes think i forgot when i was with steve which ive come to realise so much this last week and im just looking forward to seeing what this year brings...

STANDING IN THE WAY OF CONTROL, ITS THE WAY WE LIVE OUR LIFE

Nic xx

P.S I would love to hear what you think of my random imsoniac rambling lol

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 02:34:44 GMT

hey everyone - i cant sleep!!! is that not the most annoying feeling in the world when everyone around you is asleep and you are wide awake!!?? The more you think about it the more awake you are! Anyway I decided I would put some pictures up of me and my chumeroos to pass the time till i feel sleepy!

me and steve :(

Me at coldplay concert in the summer (was such a lush day, open air concert)

MEEE

Me and eilidh - im actually wearing my glasses for once

all your dreams are made of strawberry lemonade... xx

a new chapter

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:45:53 GMT

I know no-ones going to read this for a while but i feel i'll get myself started. I wanted to start a LJ to try and get stuff off my chest and spread joy to everyones hearts when they read about me and my carrraaazzzzy amigos haha j/k. On Tuesday i got dumped by my bf stephen so im still a little funny about everything but my 2 best friends eli and lauren have been so good to me keeping me busy.

SO this is why i decided to start a live journal get all my crazy ass thoughts about this dodgy time in my life as well as meeting some new cool people and help me get over steve.

Thats my start, and dont worry they will get better thats a promise xx